The Temptation of an Old Sin Released | my XA Winter Retreat Reflection Part 1

This is 100% the Holy Spirit empowering me to write this. It’s almost midnight. I’m tired, but I. must. keep. writing.

I write this partially so I remember everything that happened. I mostly write this as a testimony. The Holy Spirit empowers me to be God’s witness on Earth.  Someone needs to read this. If it’s you, I hope you find what you’re looking for.

First, a little background, last weekend I went to on a retreat for Chi Alpha Campus Ministries, a Christian fellowship on college campuses worldwide. This was my first time going to Winter Retreat. I had no idea what to expect.

In fact, it turned out to be nothing like I expected it to be. It was a weekend of self-care, encouragement, reassurance, and overall clarity. And I praise God for every minute of it.

Winter Retreat is a communion of all the Chi Alpha’s of the Northeastern region. Approximately 690 students attended. Each night and morning, worship services were held with sermons by Chi Alpha National Director E Scott Martin. In between the services, we had free time to spend in the prayer, jam, game and missions rooms, all the while meeting and connecting with new Chi Alphans. Winter Retreat focused on the community aspect of Chi Alpha.


Like I said before, I was spiritually transformed. Here’s a summary of this weekend events and why they transformed my spirit:

Friday Night service: E Scott Martin spoke about God giving us the power to live. God has given us each an anointing and we must broker it (still trying to figure out what this means). What is my anointing? His sermon confirmed in my heart that I’m called by Him to write. As I said before, the Holy Spirit empowers Christians to be God’s witnesses to share His Word with the world. In my writing, I am just doing my duty as a disciple.

To respond to this message, E Scott Martin encouraged the room to bowed down to God’s power. I dropped to my knees. Then, E Scott Martin encouraged us to ask God for our anointing. So I sat there. Part of me expected something dramatic to happen, like me being struck down or hearing the booming voice of God. God doesn’t speak to me that way.

As I sat there with a clear mind and heart, I could palpable feel the Holy Spirit moving in the room. In the fibers of my being. In the palms of my hands and pulsing in my heart. I sensed God’s presence. God did not speak to me and tell me my destiny the way I expected. And he didn’t need to. 

I left that session feeling reassured because I realized I do not have to worry about knowing my destiny because God is undoubtedly here with me.

Saturday Night Service: E Scott Martin preached about our power to serve and lead as given by the Holy Spirit. His sermon made me realize some sins require the power of the Holy Spirit to be completely removed from your life.

In my journal, I wrote,

Lord, I want to be filled with your spirit that I can be the most effective witness to minister to students at AU. Break the shell of sin Satan has tried to encase me in.

God proceeded to do so; I know, it sounds freaky, but let me explain. During the response time, he called anyone with repetitive sin issues. I struggled with thoughts and temptations of an old sin I am not comfortable saying. At first, I hesitated going up there, but as soon as I saw my friends and fellow leaders walking up there, I realized I’m not the only one who’s been attacked by Satan! I approached the altar and knelt face down under His power. Martin prayed that the chains of sin be broken. He cursed the day sin started. He prayed we be filled with a new wave of the Holy Spirit. I took deep breaths and cried out to God to release me from the chains of sins holding me back from being a better disciple. As I breathed, my life flashed before my eyes, my worst moments of that sin. I said to them, “Good bye and good riddance.”

I lost feeling in my body. I could not feel the floor anymore, only the Holy Spirit moving around us in the air. My campus pastor somehow found me and prayed what could only be a prophetic word. He sensed my discouragement and spoke of how God is please with me and brags about me. Me. In my disgusting sinful being. My pastor’s prayer was an encouragement to me beyond words.

When you do His will, God not only notices, but he is pleased.

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